The magic wand of insults...
November 13th 2007 00:02
So, i've been putting off writing as much lately as i've had a stupid cold that won't go away. My flatmate Steve has niggled at the fact i seem to cough more than any human should do at night time. He's right though, it's been going on for weeks now, i should probably go and see someone about it. Or, as Homer Simpson suggests, ignore it until it starts to bleed or feel like you may be about to die.
Anyway, the events of the party weren't great. It's another reason why i was putting the posting off, until last night that is.
The party: We arrived quite late and there wasn't that many people there. Moreover, none other than the insults girl was there. Alongside this, i had happened to drink far too much before arriving at said party. So when this girl approached me, i semi-violently poked her on the forehead, made some kind of verbal noise that went along the lines of 'blueeeeghhhhhhhh' and walked off. If i were sober, i'm sure things would have gone a lot smoother, and aside from wanting to actually be her friend, I do fancy the pants off of this girl, it seems we feel an unusual amount of hatred towards eachother when drunk it seems. I'm sure we'll get over it...
Anyway, the poking made me think, do we sometimes return to an eariler stage of flirtation with girls when we're drunk? In elementary school (4-9 say) where if you liked someone, you physically attacked them and made funny faces at them and run away. It's LITERALLY what i've been doing it seems. Maybe it's because she's about 5 foot tall and the tinyest little thing that you could fit into your pocket -- I'd post a picture, but i don't think she'd appreciate it (and it would be weird). Trust me though, she's the hottest girl about.
It's not the first time i've encountered this chilldish flirting; in my first year of Uni at halloween, i was at a party with my friend Malcolm, (i was dressed as a bin bag -- it was last minute). About half way through a girl smiled at me, blushed and looked away. I thought it was quite cute. I said to Malc that we should get a bit closer to try and start up a conversation, but before i could do that, i felt a sharp pain, wallowing through my arm and my entire body. As i turned my head, i found a wand, made of metal, which had ripped right through the bin bag, stuck firmly into my shoulder.
It bled.
It fucking hurt too. Meanwhile, the said girl, who had decided to 'cast a spell on me' had let go of her end of the wand that she owned, and had turned and done one to the other side of the room.
I didn't bother speaking to her...But i did have sex with her flatmate a few weeks later.
Annnnyway, back to the party, i had had an argument with a few of the people there who were being knobbers, Mike was -- as predicted -- being Jewish, so i left early. A few days later i got an MSN conversation from...insults girl.
It began with, 'Carpet is an evil evil man' (my nickname being carpet). I chuckled. After 2 hours of speaking on MSN about all that has happened over the last few weeks, we decided we should be best friends. I don't know where it will go, but insults, childish, immature behaviour and a blatant disregard for girls' wellbeing can get you very far after all, who'd a thunk it.
III
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