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How much should you tell your partner?

April 9th 2008 03:23
I was browsing through relationship topics on a content sharing website [Helium] and saw that a couple of titles related to honesty in a relationship as well as what to tell, what to hide.

How much should you have to tell? How much do you usually tell?

I personally think that you should tell as much as you are comfortable with. I think each relationship is build upon its foundations that you will trust and cherish each other, and the past is past. However, if you or your partner do decide to be honest and tell all, you should not be affected by what they have told you. Rather than think about all the past about this person, you should consider yourself lucky that he/she actually wants to be honest with you, which is a good sign in a relationship.

As for me, it's hard to conceal any bad doings anymore. My entire love history has just been posted on this blog available on the World Wide Web. It's a little hard to hide it from Will

Although, he's already heard it all. We do trust each other tremendously. When we first met, we were two volunteers on a mission of our own, and never anticipated that our love interests will cross paths. It wasn't until a month into our working relationship, having to work together during the day and participate with group 'trust' exercises at night, you can say our relationship is already 'trained'. We have been trained in team work, in complete honesty even before we began, and through daily conversations with each other and other group members we've already found out a lot about each other before the Taquila finally did its magic.

Yes, I do blame on the Taquila. A story we'll get to tell our children, then our grandchildren. "Your grandpa and I met in a salsa bar in a small town in Peru, and we started with just one taquila shot..."

So you see, I am not afraid to learn about his ex girlfriends and crushes, and he is comfortable knowing all about mine, and the fact that I am still in contact with some of them.

I always say I'd rather hear it from the person than someone else.

What about you guys? Do you feel comfortable telling it all? Do you think you'll be comfortable knowing all about your partner?

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8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Louie

April 9th 2008 04:44
tell them enough to stay out of trouble but not enough to get into trouble



Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang

April 9th 2008 04:55
My relationship with my mum is similar to the ones you see on "Two and a half man"

So, you can imagin what I do or don't tell my mum.

Cheers


Comment by Aimzster

April 9th 2008 06:12
I don't believe in telling all - sometimes when you tell all, it just breeds insecurities in your partner and small things turn into big things. I go with what Louie says.

Comment by Cibbuano

April 9th 2008 06:36
I'm definitely for telling it all. What's worth hiding? If you really want to be in a secure relationship, you should feel free to express yourself.

If you read Savage Love, there's no end of letters that start off 'I've been hiding...' some kink or fetish, which drives a wedge between them.


Comment by Lara M

April 9th 2008 07:16
Like u said, trust and honesty form the foundation of a relationship. I agree with Cibb that one should be free to express one's self.

I've seen relationships that begin on 'walking on eggshells'...and remain that way -- that is till the day, the eggshell-walker cracks...

Comment by AmyHuang

April 9th 2008 10:58
Louie - Yes I like that!

Peter Yang - It's best not tell mum everything

Aimster - yes, I think you need to have complete trust between partners to really be able to tell them everything!

Cib - I tell all. However perhaps some people prefer not to know. As Aimster says, some just prefers not to tell...

Lara M - Solid foundation is exactly the thing!

Thanks all for visiting!

Comment by Michaelie

April 10th 2008 02:04
I really think it depends on how comfortable you both are, with the telling and with the hearing of it. Of course, the big things, I think you have to tell. If you have a mutual and mostly tacit trust, then any instance where that trust is broken needs to be volunteered.

But I know a couple who come home and tell each other everyone they looked twice at. What's the point? I wouldn't want to hear that. I think Aimster is on the money with this:

I don't believe in telling all - sometimes when you tell all, it just breeds insecurities in your partner and small things turn into big things.

Great post, Amy

Michaelie

Comment by AmyHuang

April 10th 2008 02:21
Hi Michaelie - Past is ok to tell but its a bit weird if you come home and say to your loved one "I saw someone really hot I'd like to get in bed with today!"

Thanks for visiting

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