From the beginning now....
February 25th 2008 05:02
I thought I'd share some of my relationship history to shed light on how I am now as a person as well as the development of my love life. I always believe that the person you are, and the person you want to be, has a lot to do with previous events and relationships that has shaped your personality and attitude towards certain things.
I am happy now that I have Will, who is the most caring and loving person I've ever been with, also someone who allows me to be who I want to be.
I've always had a rule to my relationships, as I commented to Crystal's post on Dating Someone You Work With, that I never date anyone who has any associate to my job, class, family and friends. This is largely because I've watched many friends of mine dating everyone else I know, and when they break up, I had to choose who I want to be friends with, and in the end, no one ended up staying friends with anyone else.
Which is sad I thought, so I wanted to spare my own friends and family and colleagues and school community from such fate with keeping to my rules.
And I have, in fact, been keeping to the rules very well.
My first boyfriend was a boy, code name 'DC' I met at a newbies summer camp before I started university. DC was three years older than me, and was like me, a Taiwanese Australian. Although, was a lot more Taiwanese than I was, as DC came from a very traditional family that kept mostly to their Taiwanese customs than me and my aunt's family did.
At first, it was something fun. He was my first boyfriend and it was a thrill just being with someone, especially having just started university, I was feeling like an adult, managing my own affairs and stuff, that I overlooked how incompatible we were. I was out-going and anything but traditional; he was traditional and expected a 'Taiwanese' role of woman, which is not to be too loud and opinionated, and to sit around and look pretty.
He also came from a very wealthy background, and I was... well, compared to him, rather hippy-ish. He only ate at certain restaurants, only wore certain brands of clothing and constantly telling me that I should also dress up a little, and be more fashionable and stylish for him.
Which of course, being a strong-headed person, I refused.
Unfortunately, as all first boyfriends go, you always try to hold on, and it wasn't until 6 years later did I realise, this relationship was bad for me. Thankfully though, most of the time, he was in Brisbane for his job and I never really saw him that much, so really, I was living a semi-single life for the last three years of that relationship.
And you've guessed, I've never dated anyone with an Asian background ever again. I am who they call a 'BANANA' - an Asian person with a white mind. I just don't get along with them. (This just occurred naturally, not intentionally. They just don't really turn me on!)
That leads me to my second 'affair'. I was in Germany in 2003, and for most of the time there, I was still clinging onto the DC relationship until the very end, when I met G.
G was a very caring and gentle person. We practiced martial arts together and never really noticed each other until the end of the year when there was a big martial arts seminar in Paris which we both participated. Half way through that year I did return to Brisbane (All the way from Europe) to visit DC only to find out that he did not open one single letter that I've hand written him throughout the 6 months.... I was furious as you can imagine, but he sweet talked me out of breaking up with him then.
And that was a big mistake. In fact, not realizing it earlier would be the biggest mistake in my life.
He was 4 years younger than I am and through him, I suddenly realised that DC was extremely bad for me. So I broke up with DC (finally) over the phone, and started seeing G.
(to be continued...)
(Image Source: www.earthlight.org)
I am happy now that I have Will, who is the most caring and loving person I've ever been with, also someone who allows me to be who I want to be.
I've always had a rule to my relationships, as I commented to Crystal's post on Dating Someone You Work With, that I never date anyone who has any associate to my job, class, family and friends. This is largely because I've watched many friends of mine dating everyone else I know, and when they break up, I had to choose who I want to be friends with, and in the end, no one ended up staying friends with anyone else.
Which is sad I thought, so I wanted to spare my own friends and family and colleagues and school community from such fate with keeping to my rules.
And I have, in fact, been keeping to the rules very well.
My first boyfriend was a boy, code name 'DC' I met at a newbies summer camp before I started university. DC was three years older than me, and was like me, a Taiwanese Australian. Although, was a lot more Taiwanese than I was, as DC came from a very traditional family that kept mostly to their Taiwanese customs than me and my aunt's family did.
At first, it was something fun. He was my first boyfriend and it was a thrill just being with someone, especially having just started university, I was feeling like an adult, managing my own affairs and stuff, that I overlooked how incompatible we were. I was out-going and anything but traditional; he was traditional and expected a 'Taiwanese' role of woman, which is not to be too loud and opinionated, and to sit around and look pretty.
He also came from a very wealthy background, and I was... well, compared to him, rather hippy-ish. He only ate at certain restaurants, only wore certain brands of clothing and constantly telling me that I should also dress up a little, and be more fashionable and stylish for him.
Which of course, being a strong-headed person, I refused.
Unfortunately, as all first boyfriends go, you always try to hold on, and it wasn't until 6 years later did I realise, this relationship was bad for me. Thankfully though, most of the time, he was in Brisbane for his job and I never really saw him that much, so really, I was living a semi-single life for the last three years of that relationship.
And you've guessed, I've never dated anyone with an Asian background ever again. I am who they call a 'BANANA' - an Asian person with a white mind. I just don't get along with them. (This just occurred naturally, not intentionally. They just don't really turn me on!)
That leads me to my second 'affair'. I was in Germany in 2003, and for most of the time there, I was still clinging onto the DC relationship until the very end, when I met G.
G was a very caring and gentle person. We practiced martial arts together and never really noticed each other until the end of the year when there was a big martial arts seminar in Paris which we both participated. Half way through that year I did return to Brisbane (All the way from Europe) to visit DC only to find out that he did not open one single letter that I've hand written him throughout the 6 months.... I was furious as you can imagine, but he sweet talked me out of breaking up with him then.
And that was a big mistake. In fact, not realizing it earlier would be the biggest mistake in my life.
He was 4 years younger than I am and through him, I suddenly realised that DC was extremely bad for me. So I broke up with DC (finally) over the phone, and started seeing G.
(to be continued...)
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Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Wow 6 years!?!? that`s a long time, I`m glad that you saw the light and moved on from that... it doesn`t bear thinking of where you would be now if you had hung in there. I am imagine for a strong willed person like yourself you would have been very unhappy.
Will sounds like he has completed your life though. I look forward to hearing what happened with G.
Ash
Comment by Krystal
feelings
But one thing I know and that is there is no such thing as a perfect mate, life is a matter of compromise, and in that I wish you well much as I wish for myself.
Comment by AmyHuang
Sydney Table
Project Job Search
Travel Debate
Travel String
Love Adventures
Crystal - yes, I did learn this the hard way - not to stay on with relationships that isn't working!