Loving my sister
April 23rd 2008 10:19
When I was growing up, as I lived mostly with my aunt, my sister became more of a shadow figure in my life. Well - actually let's just call her a brat. She was the younger sister, and she could have everything she wanted. During the years when I was away from my family, she was practically the only child.
The effect of course, lasted until even now - she still acts like the only child and really gets on my nerves.
Well, I guess that's what sisters do.
However, when it comes to loving her as a sister, I can truthfully say that I didn't always love her. I didn't have a reason. Being 5 years my junior, we didn't play together, we didn't go to school together and we didn't have the same social values. What I wanted to do, she was too young to do, and so I end up just ignoring her.
However, now that she is 23, now that she is also an adult, I am starting to love her more. Not because she is doing more for me, but more for the fact that I can relate more to her, I can see where her troubles are coming come. I've been there myself.
Just yesterday she locked herself in her room, and was in tears. She hated her life, she said. She can't seem to do anything right, and Mum and Dad just seem to strict on her that she doesn't want to be part of this family anymore.
I understand how she feels. I've been there about 5 years ago.
The difference between my sister and I, is that I don't have that emotional tie with my parents. I don't give a shit what they think or what they say. I do as I wish. For her, she feels like she is betraying the family name each time she does something that makes my parents mad, and hence, she stopped telling them anything. She started to keep to herself, yet still hope to break free.
It's the result of both a generation gap as well as a large cultural gap between us and our parents, and I handled it by not caring. And she is trying to handle it by trying to keep everyone happy, and it just doesn't work like that.
I start to care and love my sister because I realised how vulnerable she is, and that because of our personality differences, how much support she does need now that she is grown up and having to worry about grown up things.
Perhaps the sister bond is finally coming back, or perhaps, the big sister in me is starting to realise - it's my job to be there for her when she needs me. I do love her now, even if she is still a pain in the backside.
What is the relationship between you and your siblings?
The effect of course, lasted until even now - she still acts like the only child and really gets on my nerves.
Well, I guess that's what sisters do.
However, when it comes to loving her as a sister, I can truthfully say that I didn't always love her. I didn't have a reason. Being 5 years my junior, we didn't play together, we didn't go to school together and we didn't have the same social values. What I wanted to do, she was too young to do, and so I end up just ignoring her.
However, now that she is 23, now that she is also an adult, I am starting to love her more. Not because she is doing more for me, but more for the fact that I can relate more to her, I can see where her troubles are coming come. I've been there myself.
Just yesterday she locked herself in her room, and was in tears. She hated her life, she said. She can't seem to do anything right, and Mum and Dad just seem to strict on her that she doesn't want to be part of this family anymore.
I understand how she feels. I've been there about 5 years ago.
The difference between my sister and I, is that I don't have that emotional tie with my parents. I don't give a shit what they think or what they say. I do as I wish. For her, she feels like she is betraying the family name each time she does something that makes my parents mad, and hence, she stopped telling them anything. She started to keep to herself, yet still hope to break free.
It's the result of both a generation gap as well as a large cultural gap between us and our parents, and I handled it by not caring. And she is trying to handle it by trying to keep everyone happy, and it just doesn't work like that.
I start to care and love my sister because I realised how vulnerable she is, and that because of our personality differences, how much support she does need now that she is grown up and having to worry about grown up things.
Perhaps the sister bond is finally coming back, or perhaps, the big sister in me is starting to realise - it's my job to be there for her when she needs me. I do love her now, even if she is still a pain in the backside.
What is the relationship between you and your siblings?
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Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Sounds like your sister got the good and the bad too, in a different way. I do relate to a degree, though my family is very different. I have never not loved any of them, even in the lowest times.
Interesting post, Amy.
Michaelie
Comment by the world of gaye
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Comment by AmyHuang
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Gaye - Wow, that's a big family. My partner has a big family, and I don't think I can handle it, but probably because it wasn't brought up with one.
Thanks guys for dropping by!