Insults.
November 3rd 2007 13:19
'The drunkest person ever after a night out' comes to mind concerning this morning.
Unexpectedly, myself and two of my best mates at Uni decided to hit it hard. We drank a bottle of Rum quite quickly and approached the sugarhouse with smiles and giddy tipsyness. I've been having some great success (Borat style) on nights out recently, so i was with reasonable high hopes. Of course, girls went out the window when i found out it was casino night, and there was a POKER TABLE. I sat down and played a few hands, soon after a mate asked if we could play together.
We eventually went broke after losing a stupidly large pot with a guy who doesn't know how to play poker, after which we got ridiculously drunk. It included a drink consisting of two sambuka, a vodka, a tequilla, beer and red bull. I don't remember much after drinking it. Co-incidence?
I'll advise now gents, if your plan is to do something like that on a night out, don't bother with any girls. Bad things usually happen. I'll give several examples. Firstly, you can't really hold much of a decent conversation. The girl just looks at you and smiles whilst thinking, 'what the fuck is he saying and why is he looking at my chest and not my face?! (which probably means something like, 'ayyyyy reliiiii lykkke urr TITtsssS...')
SECONDLY, you'll make a fool of yourself, (if you already haven't done in the previous statement). I had good control of my stomach and balance last night, but sometimes it's never that easy, you might take a tumble, or throw up, thus killing all romance there and forever more. You're drunkard outlook is never a good one, and it probably won't end well.
But what if it does? What if, by some magical chance, you pull the girl you want to? Well, there is a third reason why uBer drunk-ness and girls is not a great idea. Once, and only once, i drank too much, pulled, got the girl back to mine and then...couldn't preform. It's never happened sober and i've learnt my lesson. Trouble is, that girl is very attractive and there is some attraction still, but there would never be any romance. In the back of both of our minds runs the question, will it happen again? Her thinking, is it because he doesn't fancy me? me scared of a repeat performance. Too much trouble comes with it and it won't happen. Be careful boys, thats all i'm going to suggest (and wear a condom)...(or two if she's a slut).
So, the story concludes...
After drinking THAT drink, we proceeded to drink about 6 shots of sambuka each, before twisting some very unshaply moves on the dance floor and speaking to girls that we shouldn't be speaking to because of the above reasons. For some reason, a girl i've gotton on quite well with in the past decided to tell me my flaws. Example: My hair was too long at the back and it NEEDED CUTTING (which she made very loudly clear). I got quite angry. I think i was a bit tipsy....and unleashed the fury.
In return i stated that her hair was a FUCKING mess (with aggressive finger pointing). I turned with an angry squint, and went on my way...a very unevenly shaped way.
...now, i PROBABLY pushed it too far, and there in lies the trouble with drinking excessivly and being around girls. Worst of all, she's lovely. I thought we could be good friends. I guess an apology will be needed. I'm good at them anyway. I might not drink ever again though
III
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