Dreamcatcher...
October 18th 2007 15:32
Your typical indian dreamcatcher...
A little off topic, but here goes...
I decided to write a note last year listing my dreams. It got really difficult to keep up with as my extreme incapacity to do anything but complain and occasionally masturbate when I wake up made it almost improper for me to write about the dreams I was having, most of them already gone from memory, only being able to ponder and piece together bits at night time when I eventually got round to it.
In one case all I had written down for a nights entry was ’ looking at a Cactus’ and ‘wanting to eat it’. I had no further entries. I have kept a keen interest in dreams and have read that it is quite easy to start lucid dreaming (waking up and literally ‘living the dream’) and I’ve always wanted to fly…
…I even bought superman boxers.
I wrote 30 nights of dream filled fun, from the 24/08/07 to 24/09/07, a week or so before returning to Lancaster and the house of dreams (with a really long, thin Kitchen, the smallest tumble drier ever created, and a lounge that consists of a ‘probably broken chair‘, two tone pink walls and a greenish carpet that probably didn‘t start off green).
My hat goes off to whoever got fired for purposefully decorating that house.
Dreamcatcher…
24/08/07
A nightmare. Nathan Butler, a serious contender for the spottiest guy in high school decided that he should start popping his spots on everyone. Unknown to us (-Gaz, Mark and some others-) however, the pus was highly poisonous. One boy died, can’t remember who but he probably wasn’t nice. Nathan got detention. He WASN’T happy and got all red like he used to. Don’t think he’s on facebook yet, so you can all rest easy…for now. I have no idea what this dream means and I can’t bring myself to look it up on the internet incase it says I have a fetish for spot popping.
*Shudders*
25/08/07
Another nightmare. It was a real gut buster, the first time I woke up sweating from a dream in many MANY years. Maybe due to the fact I’d visited www.1/18/08.com before I’d got to sleep. There was a monster with massive claws and teeth that curve round his face, with speakers on his shoulders saying how he wants to go to sleep. Because nobody could make him, he went psycho on everyone. I woke up just as I escaped to the sewers. I had no memory of how I got there. Scary stuff.
26/08/07
The unfortunate continuation of last nights dream brought another sweat and most importantly my first ‘decent’ lucid dream last night. The first thing I remember is running from the same monster (although I could only see his feet as it was so massive). Then, I was in a car with Leanne, Gaz and about 20 others, still being chased, the feet trying to crush the car, (Typical Jurassic park scenario). The car stopped and started to rise from the ground.
Figuring the monster had got a hold of it, I jumped out of the window. It seemed like I was in Lancaster, although It was just the countryside really. Don’t know what happened to the rest of the guys, but I’m sorry to say they more or less certainly met a ‘teethy’ end.
The sewer was under a hill, and a small grid in the side of the hill was my entrance. I collapsed the instant I got in (so I fell asleep in my dream -LAZY) I was awoken by two figures that I couldn’t make out. I had the impression that they could be either good or bad, and so didn’t know what to do. When I asked them for food, they gave me peanut butter sandwiches and tea. I woke up in my dream at this point and said “Shit, I’m dreaming“. It was at this point that one of the figures tried to stab me, and I woke up. It wasn’t pleasant.
It’s made me think that if I’m waking up during nightmares ill have to try and get super powers and beat the crap out of everything that moves. Otherwise I’m screw-edd. I’m really not up for dying in my dream, rumours that you die forever might be a bit absurd, but there’s a good chance a part of your soul dies, making David an evil dreamer…
28/08/07
No dream on the 27th, not that I can remember anyway. Last nights dream was about Bacon, which co-incidentally was the nickname of Nathan Butler, the probable secret fetish of my delight. Anyway, I don’t remember anything but cueing for the ice-cream man who was selling free bacon for 50p. I thought about why he was selling it for 50p if it were free when I woke up.
…Then I smelt bacon from downstairs and went and had some. It seems external forces do aid the dream along.
Plus…I really like the smell of bacon.
29/08/07
Sex dream! The best type of dream. I decided in the last attempt at this that I would usually write the names of people involved, but I think it’s a bit embarrassing to reveal any sex/dream involved girl. Needless to say, it was a girl, she is very attractive, and I was looking at her facebook just before I went to bed. I won’t go into an more detail, as it is frankly, filth.
Now all I have to do is wake up in (and during) one of these and ill never have to wake up for real again. If I’m ever in a coma and the doctors don’t know why, point them towards this and moreover, tell them to leave me alone.
“I’m fine!”
30/08/07
Had a dream about Hilary Clinton. (None sexual unfortunately). She was on the news before I bedded it up. Quite a vivid one about me helping her out for the American elections. I was in a bit of a tickle though, not being able to answer any questions people were asking me as I had no idea what she was campaigning. I felt like I hadn’t done my homework for high school and eventually got told off by Hilary herself L
I ended up giving people balloons made form recycled stuff, dressed up as a tree. I think she must have been going for the ‘green environment‘ style. Typical women president campaigners.
1/09/07
No real dream the night before last, and not much last night. Something about Michael Mullett and Will, my history pal talking about something, Nothing amazing, and I’m yet to have a substantial lucid dream.
Patience Luke, the force is with you.
2/09/07
Something about Madeline Macan. I can’t really remember what it was about, I think I was a Spanish detective type guy who was investigating. Won’t go into any more detail, it’s a bit of a touchy subject and I don‘t know Spanish so I don‘t know what I was saying.
4/09/07
Bad sex dream! Similar to the last, but with a girl I typically dislike and it was of the bottom variety. Perhaps a metaphor for how much I didn’t want it. Bum sex is the answer to loose vaginas, sewn up vaginas, a penis in place of a vagina, a dare, and not much else…
Oh, and nothing on the 3rd, didn’t really get much sleep at all. I’m just not committed enough.
5/09/07
‘All this time you were chasing dreams, without knowing what you wanted them to mean’ -Jose Gonzalez.
I had just drifted off to Jose Gonzalez and had a great dream as a consequence (from what I remember). I’ve never had any awful nightmares after watching a scary movie or anything, I never thought the things I did before I go to bed would affect my dream patterns. Maybe it’s only because I’m writing about it now that I’m noticing it.
Anyway, I went to Blackpool! I walked about with a ventriloquist’s doll as my guide for a bit, even though I spoke for him, he still managed to tell me the best places to go. Strange. Still, it was a nice doll, not one of those that comes to life and eats you or stabs you or something plain out of order for any tourist in an American teen horror movie.
Then, as dreams do, the location changed completely. I was at home, I think, I’m actually not sure. It’s either I was introducing Natalie to my mum and dad, and she’d brought a fancy dinner knife to try and impress them, or the other way round I was trying to impress her family. I don’t know why, but of course, the knife was mistaken for a weapon to attack the family with, and the police were called.
It was all resolved and we drank tea, the knife was used as a stirrer. There were no spoons. I have no idea why.
6/09/07
Smoking cigarettes and breathing really heavily like I’d just gone for a 10 mile run, outside Wetherspoons with Bry Clooney and walking to the sugarhouse In the rain were the only things I remember from last nights dream. I seem to have had lots of dreams about walking to the sugarhouse in the rain in the past, or maybe that’s just what happens every week…I swear it never stops raining in Lancaster.
Didn’t have chance to write the dream down when I woke up so I keep getting the feeling there is something more to the plot (like why I was so out of breath…and smoking).
Oh well.
7/09/07
I was so tired last night, I went to the gym and had a really big session and so slept from 9pm to 6am, and then from 8am to11:45am. I cannot remember a single thing though, even though I’m absolutely certain I had a huge adventure dream. Just another magical money making story idea gone to waste.
I’ll never learn.
8/09/07
Slept on the floor at Gaz’s, it wasn’t the most coherent session, I must have had about 5 separate dreams, 4 of which I can’t now remember as I never had chance to write them down. The one I do remember involved Kate Guest and I in a bar that resembled Furness (the typical old man pub), her on a high stool, me being so horribly drunk that I couldn’t stand up, resorting to permanently hugging Kate in an effort to hide the fact that if she let go, I would be down with the resounding chance I wouldn’t be getting back up.
Embarrassing dream feeling when I awoke. Oh well, I wonder if it’ll be as bad when it actually happens? J
9/09/07
The second lucid dream was even shorter than the first, which wasn’t good at all, but It was about flying. It was like the matrix, or Heroes. I was trying to fly for the first time but I couldn’t quite get there. So I closed my eyes and concentrated, and opened my eyes and my feet were a few metres off the ground. I was overwhelmed. It was here that I woke up in the dream, fell fat on my face and woke up.
At least I flew…a…bit. it’s the main reason I did all this I guess, so a certain satisfaction comes from that.
10/09/07
SPIDERS. I’m not going to write any more because I don’t want to remember and wake up in a spider nightmare. That would make me not want to sleep anymore.
11/09/07
Last nights dream was typically odd. I’m quite surprised how strange dreams can be, yet we just pass them off. I was sat with my granddad, talking about boats in the second world war (he worked on a battleship), and then for some reason conversation turned to how Shirly Bassy could have saved Elliott Smith from killing himself if she’d have taken him out on the town more. I have more respect for no man than I do for my granddad, so I agreed, and it was settled. I think I was trying to ring up a news channel to tell them about it all, when I woke up. Lovely stuff.
12/09/07
No dream remembered last night. Physically brain dead.
13/09/07
The worst dream ever, maybe? …I wont say who’s involved, as it is possibly the most unsexy thing ever and will kill any romance there is. I was doing a presentation with this girl at Uni, she’s pretty hot. We were eating lamb on sticks for a bit, before the presenting began in the lecture theatre next to the room we were in, with all the other presenters (including other HOT girls)…and they all got food poisoning.
They shat everywhere.
It was explosive, smelly, runny, messy, violent, slippery, and very often, projectiling all over the room. All in all a very messy pre-presentation snack.
Somehow, the girl involved - who was worst affected as she ate 13 of the lamb stick things (which were CLEARLY undercooked), and pooed just everywhere - cleaned herself up just in time for the presentation and for the people who were watching, who I think were unaware of the situation that they were to walk into when they left the lecture theatre.
At this point, for some reason, I did one. Not knowing if she was all done with the food poisoning, certainly still feeling ill, and nervous also, I decided that I should leave the room and put her RIGHT in it. Went for a run. Came back and she was sat in the foyer place that the mayhem had just occurred in. I kissed her on the cheek and she smiled. Charmmerrrrrrr. I cant remember much after that, but I think it all worked out in the end and everyone got home safely, if not a little embarrassed. I probably won’t tell anyone who was involved, unless they pay me.
14/09/07
Dream, probably classed as a nightmare as I didn’t have the nicest feeling upon waking. I was in the hairdressers and there were jokes flying about how the girl who was cutting my hair, wanted it (as it is so perfect, of course), and then with the response, ‘you have scissors, cut it off and run away then’, by me, she started too. Immediately realizing what I had done, I tried to wrestle the scissors off of her. She had backup, I didn’t, so I resorted to grabbing moose. It worked. They backed off and I did one.
Stupid stealing hairdressers.
15/09/07
Had a dream about my ‘brother’, Matthew. I never met him or remember him at least as I was still VERY small I believe. It’s a touchy subject. I have occasional dreams about him, but I never get to see his face. We also speak, but I can never EVER remember about what. I never know what the dreams mean, but I’m never with the ‘nightmare’ feel in my stomach when I wake, so I presume its all honky dory.
16/09/07
White Stripes dream. I have had a feeling in my stomach for a while now that they’re gunna split up (and as of the 19th, the world tour ahs been cancelled, so I’m not too hopeful). I’m sure a few of my beloved flat mates will love this fact. I obviously won’t, I FUCKING love the White Stripes, and I saw them arguing one day, so I went up, got down on my knees, hands held together and starting singing a white stripes medley, probably in an effort to make them stay together. I can’t remember if it worked…
…but I bet it did.
17/09/07
Had a bad dream about my Dad getting cancer. It wasn’t the most delightful and I don’t really want to go and make it happen by writing it down. Bluehhh. Not the best week of dreams I’ll admit, and still nothing decent lucid. Only a week or so left too, and I’m getting demoralized.
Piss kidneys.
18/09/07
I just didn’t bother this morning. It was another stupid nightmare about big spiders. Not just small ones, big fuckers with dribble poison and fangs. Nearly giving up…
19/09/07
I had a wonderful dream about the sugarhouse. I was with everyone from Uni, I think it was the first night back or something and everyone had fancy dresses and hair-doo’s, Panch and Ric had MASSIVE bowler hats. It was fantabulous. Out of the mist came Annabel, with VERY fancy hair and a long cigarette thing that women used to have in the 50’s, looking absolutely beautiful. Smiles all round. I think I’m looking forwards to getting back. I also think I’ll be able to carry this on till the end.
…and as a side note, I did not get corrected by spellchecker for ‘fantabulous’, it is a real word. All of my dreams have come true.
21/09/07
No real dream last night. I decided to have a little experiment tonight though. I listened to Damien rice all night and did nothing else. I didn’t know what to expect, but I had a dream I was on a mountain top, fighting Indians (feathers not dots), to the soundtrack of none other than Damien Rice.
Not the best soundtrack to an adventure dream, but still…tomorrow I’m watching pornography and superman all day. Flying superhero porn dreams here we come!
22/09/07
Another dream about getting back to Lancaster. This time, I was having a play fight with Kai that ended up with a plug socket going through his kneecap. So in retaliation threw me through a wall. Then we went shopping. I wasn’t feeling too good (freshers flu) and at the same time, got a message from Mike saying that he wasn’t coming out anymore because he didn’t like getting freshers flu. I went back to the house to see how he was, my sniffling getting worse and worse…and that’s all I remember, but I wasn’t feeling well when I woke up.
Fine now of course…but I woke up at 6am having a dream, and instead of writing them down (like I know you need to) I just said to myself, remember these 5 things and you’ll be fine. So I repeated these 5 things to myself and drifted off to have the dream above. For the life of me, I can’t remember any one of those things that I needed to remember. If I could remember one of them it might start it off. Probably too late now anyway, and I’ve learnt my lesson.
23/09/07
A poker dream. I haven’t been playing much since my loss, which will be explained soon, so I didn’t expect to have one about poker. Of course, dreams are about as predictable as the lottery, so there you go.
I was playing in a big tournament online, and I won $40,000. I went onto the cash table and within 3 hands, playing against Gus Hansen, I’d won $220,000. I went online the next day in search of my tournament, and also my account, with the slight chance that I actually had done this and got so excited I’d forgotten all about it. Wasn’t to be though, and I didn’t make any money that night. My time will come I’m sure!
24/09/07
My final dream was just boring as! I was rather looking forward to having a big send off dream. I even thought about making it up, but that’s just cheating. And with that anti-climax, Dreamcatcher was, to say the least, (and I will say), scary, time consuming, confusing, and probably detrimental for my already mentally fragile state. All in all, a fun time!
I didn’t have much in the way of lucid dreams, and now that I think about it, I don’t want to. Chances are, with having more ‘nightmares’ than nice dreams, I’ll wake up during a murder and get accused of it, or wake up during my own murder and never wake up again. Probably…
If you do want to try this, try and do it in the holidays, I can almost guarantee that you’ll hate doing it mid-work or Uni year, as it gets too hard to focus. I found it hard when I had nothing to do, and I wouldn’t to try it again as I didn’t get much out of it, except for this sarcastic rant of course.
Other than that, read up about it online, and hopefully dreamcatch away! (…hopefully having dreams about being in a porno and then flying off to save a children from a burning building…). You’ll certainly have my respect, as well as the mothers’ of the children you just saved.
Jackanackanory.
III
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