A clash of cultures on weddings
August 16th 2009 11:03
It might be odd for you to hear this, but for the past 2 weeks I have been in major arguments with my parents due to cultural differences about this whole wedding.
So like, when we got engaged, we both stood in front of my parents and announced the news.
They weren't impressed.
And ever since then, both mum and dad had been on to me about how we never 'told' them about getting married and that we haven't made it official before making a wedding announcement.
And of course, it didn't make sense to me, because I clearly remember standing in front of them breaking the news and that the logical next step from engagement is to plan the wedding.
So I thought perhaps the time between our engagement to the weddig planning had been too long that perhaps they forgot we told them?
Well no, as it turned out, thanks to my aunt who understood me, and understood the otherside of the argument, she explained that my parents seem to still have a very traditional 'Taiwanese' concept about marriage. To make it 'official' we were meant to sit down with our parents all together to discuss the wedding plans, not the way that I think the wedding planning is really all up to us, and that they should just come and enjoy themselves.
And apparently (as my parents have never been to a non-Taiwanese wedding and do not really socialise much now that mum can't go anywhere without assistance) - their idea of wedding is that we need to have a lot of formality - I won't try to explain these because I don't even understand - which we have not included in our plans so far.
Anyways, so it seems that they didn't understand the fact that they just need to be there, and not to have to play and roles or have any particular formalities done.
So anyways, it's now all sorted and they now accept that I am not as "Taiwanese" as they want me to be, especially when it comes to major events in our lives......
The good thing is, Will has been supportive either way. Understanding that my parents do things differently he is quite happy to go with the minor things that had to be done certain ways around the house
So like, when we got engaged, we both stood in front of my parents and announced the news.
They weren't impressed.
And ever since then, both mum and dad had been on to me about how we never 'told' them about getting married and that we haven't made it official before making a wedding announcement.
And of course, it didn't make sense to me, because I clearly remember standing in front of them breaking the news and that the logical next step from engagement is to plan the wedding.
So I thought perhaps the time between our engagement to the weddig planning had been too long that perhaps they forgot we told them?
Well no, as it turned out, thanks to my aunt who understood me, and understood the otherside of the argument, she explained that my parents seem to still have a very traditional 'Taiwanese' concept about marriage. To make it 'official' we were meant to sit down with our parents all together to discuss the wedding plans, not the way that I think the wedding planning is really all up to us, and that they should just come and enjoy themselves.
And apparently (as my parents have never been to a non-Taiwanese wedding and do not really socialise much now that mum can't go anywhere without assistance) - their idea of wedding is that we need to have a lot of formality - I won't try to explain these because I don't even understand - which we have not included in our plans so far.
Anyways, so it seems that they didn't understand the fact that they just need to be there, and not to have to play and roles or have any particular formalities done.
So anyways, it's now all sorted and they now accept that I am not as "Taiwanese" as they want me to be, especially when it comes to major events in our lives......
The good thing is, Will has been supportive either way. Understanding that my parents do things differently he is quite happy to go with the minor things that had to be done certain ways around the house
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