Confusions all around
March 18th 2008 06:46
It's quite a funny experience having to write about this all now. It's like trying to remember the little details and my emotions all at once and in a way, it's making me think a lot more about my actions these days, of the consequences and the way life is.
So I was with CB and I had this fling with the person I was doing my project with. Throughout this whole time, I had started to develop feelings for CB, as he had demonstrated that he was in fact, besides being extremely attractive, a really nice person as well. I had to suppress this feeling knowing that we had agreed from the beginning this was all for fun, yet somehow, I let my emotions slip through my conscious and allowed myself to fall secretly in love with CB.
My best friend whom I was living with decided she was going off to Europe for a while, just at the same time as when the lease of our place was due to expire. Unwilling to have to find a new flatmate by myself, I decided to give up the place all together and find where else to live. After searching high and low, I decided I wasn't going to afford a place by myself without sharing with someone so I decided to go for a three bedroom townhouse where they were looking for a third flatmate to share the cost.
And this is how I got to know Rob* (fake name used to protect identity), a nice gay boy whom I became great friends with.
I feel obliged to describe the household, as it was the basis of my life at the time where everything was simply confusing.
Rob was gay, as I had described, and was on the verge of moving out when I arrived as he wasn't on good terms with our other house mate Daisy* (once again, false name used here) who was a lesbian. None of this bothered me as I am pretty open minded. It did however, created quite an interesting sharing life. Both Rob and Daisy had partners, and CB was dropping by from time to time, it was a house of "confusing sex" as Rob liked to call it. I did learn a lot about their relationships and broaden my "knowledge" on the subject matter yet at the same time no really going anywhere with my own.
I was confused, and being in this house made me even more confused. Not that I am saying I didn't enjoy their company. Rob was a fun loving person and despite being young and not really knowing what he wanted to do, we hung out a lot, mainly because both of us didn't really get along with Daisy. Daisy was a little aggressive so to speak, and often very rough around the household. She wasn't an easy person to get along with and so Rob and I ended up spending a lot of time out, going to pubs and night clubs (mainly on Oxford St) getting drunk.
Three months into the move, we (Rob and I) both decided we've had enough of Daisy and at the time, I was just offered the full time job at my current company. So I could afford a place of my own. I moved out, Rob followed. Although still uncertain what he wanted to do, I let him sleep on a mattress on my floor for the next four months.
So I was with CB and I had this fling with the person I was doing my project with. Throughout this whole time, I had started to develop feelings for CB, as he had demonstrated that he was in fact, besides being extremely attractive, a really nice person as well. I had to suppress this feeling knowing that we had agreed from the beginning this was all for fun, yet somehow, I let my emotions slip through my conscious and allowed myself to fall secretly in love with CB.
My best friend whom I was living with decided she was going off to Europe for a while, just at the same time as when the lease of our place was due to expire. Unwilling to have to find a new flatmate by myself, I decided to give up the place all together and find where else to live. After searching high and low, I decided I wasn't going to afford a place by myself without sharing with someone so I decided to go for a three bedroom townhouse where they were looking for a third flatmate to share the cost.
And this is how I got to know Rob* (fake name used to protect identity), a nice gay boy whom I became great friends with.
I feel obliged to describe the household, as it was the basis of my life at the time where everything was simply confusing.
Rob was gay, as I had described, and was on the verge of moving out when I arrived as he wasn't on good terms with our other house mate Daisy* (once again, false name used here) who was a lesbian. None of this bothered me as I am pretty open minded. It did however, created quite an interesting sharing life. Both Rob and Daisy had partners, and CB was dropping by from time to time, it was a house of "confusing sex" as Rob liked to call it. I did learn a lot about their relationships and broaden my "knowledge" on the subject matter yet at the same time no really going anywhere with my own.
I was confused, and being in this house made me even more confused. Not that I am saying I didn't enjoy their company. Rob was a fun loving person and despite being young and not really knowing what he wanted to do, we hung out a lot, mainly because both of us didn't really get along with Daisy. Daisy was a little aggressive so to speak, and often very rough around the household. She wasn't an easy person to get along with and so Rob and I ended up spending a lot of time out, going to pubs and night clubs (mainly on Oxford St) getting drunk.
Three months into the move, we (Rob and I) both decided we've had enough of Daisy and at the time, I was just offered the full time job at my current company. So I could afford a place of my own. I moved out, Rob followed. Although still uncertain what he wanted to do, I let him sleep on a mattress on my floor for the next four months.
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